This Picture Of A Sandwich - The Oppo Review

"TheHondaBro" (wwaveform) 01/26/2015 at 12:31 • Filed to: None

9

34

Sandwich.

( Full Disclosure - The sandwich wanted me to review it so badly it took control of my mind with its mustard powers and is now forcing me to write this.)

Exterior - 10/10

It looks delicious.

Interior - 10/10

I'm sure it tastes delicious as well.

Acceleration - 10/10

This shit's fast as fuck. You better strap yourself down and prepare for the world-altering speed that is yummy. This is some next-level shit right here.

Braking - 10/10

This specimen of ultimate sandwich engineering stops on a dime. I mean, just look at it. It clearly stopped while it was breaking mach 7.

Ride - 10/10

Riding this sandwich is like riding a soft fluffalicious cloud. It absorbs the bumps like a Rolls Royce, due to its salami-filing suspension.

Handling - 10/10

Take this monster on a track day and you're in for the time of your life. The mustard compresses just right and you never miss the apex.

Gearbox - 0/10

It doesn't have a gearbox. It's a sandwich.

Audio - 10/10

Sandwichs always sound good. This one's got an aux jack.

Toys - 10/10

You ever played with salami? That shit's fun.

Value - A Bajillion/10

Sandwichs are delicious, so go and get one. Mmmm, yum.

Total: Sandwich/100
Engine: 8.6L V8
Power: A bajillion.
Transmission: Magically-assisted bread.
0-60 time: It's already there, plebeian.
Top Speed: Mach 10
Drivetrain: 7-wheel drive.
Curb weight: 1.6 lbs.
Seating: 2 adults, 5 children.
MPG: It doesn't have a gas tank, it's powered by love.
MSRP: $2.50 at Walmart, or something like that.

crowmolly > TheHondaBro 01/26/2015 at 12:33

1

TheHondaBro > crowmolly 01/26/2015 at 12:36

0

Sandvich

MultiplaOrgasms > TheHondaBro 01/26/2015 at 12:36

2

But how does it compare to the Döner Kebab?

spanfucker retire bitch > TheHondaBro 01/26/2015 at 12:37

3

It doesn't have a gearbox. It's a sandwich.

Oh, yeah, no. That would just be silly. What were we all thinking?

TheHondaBro > MultiplaOrgasms 01/26/2015 at 12:37

0

Well, they're both delicious.

Laird Andrew Neby Bradleigh > MultiplaOrgasms 01/26/2015 at 12:38

1

Döner Kebab is the best... ALWAYS!

extraspecialbitter > TheHondaBro 01/26/2015 at 12:39

1

Keep Oppo Awesome.

CalzoneGolem > TheHondaBro 01/26/2015 at 12:39

0

Toys - 10/10

You ever played with salami? That shit's fun.

Pretty sure that's corned beef bro.

TheHondaBro > CalzoneGolem 01/26/2015 at 12:40

0

Salami's more fun though.

CalzoneGolem > TheHondaBro 01/26/2015 at 12:42

0

:-\

Tapas > TheHondaBro 01/26/2015 at 12:45

0

Edit: Power should be 0.0002 horsepower (converted from 0.0008 cow power, from muscles and meat and whatnot)

Although, there's a chance all of that is 100% Romania's finest horse meat.

For Sweden > MultiplaOrgasms 01/26/2015 at 12:46

0

Remove kebab by giving it to me

TheHondaBro > Tapas 01/26/2015 at 12:47

0

*throws sandwich at Tapas*

How much power did that feel like, huh?

JeepJeremy > TheHondaBro 01/26/2015 at 12:50

1

Thanks. I just finished lunch but now I want a Reuben.

Textured Soy Protein > TheHondaBro 01/26/2015 at 12:54

1

That corned beef-to-sauerkraut ratio is all out of whack.

MultiplaOrgasms > Tapas 01/26/2015 at 12:54

1

Hopefully not, I like my Meat to consist of precisely 24% Cow, 18% Horse, 14% Human, 11% Insects from the bolivian Rainforest, 9.26% Excrements, 6% Bat and 17.74% fossile ressources, dead matter and others.

Cé hé sin > TheHondaBro 01/26/2015 at 12:56

1

Someone said Sandwich ?

MultiplaOrgasms > For Sweden 01/26/2015 at 12:57

1

Thank you for this excuse to post this.

langadamd > TheHondaBro 01/26/2015 at 13:07

1

10/10 would eat.

My citroen won't start > TheHondaBro 01/26/2015 at 13:18

2

This is my favorite post on Oppo

fhrblig > TheHondaBro 01/26/2015 at 13:27

0

I am long overdue for a Reuben. It's going on the agenda.

Tapas > MultiplaOrgasms 01/26/2015 at 14:58

0

Damn, you're picky.

I guess Taco Bell would be one of the very few restaurants that make the cut for you :D

Tapas > TheHondaBro 01/26/2015 at 14:59

1

*Picks up sandwich from face and takes a bit*

Maybe the calculator under-rated the engine, that felt more like 0.00035 horses!

MultiplaOrgasms > Tapas 01/26/2015 at 15:00

0

Unfortunately I despise Tacos, so vegan it is for me. And I like my vegetables to contain meat. /nowayout

Tapas > MultiplaOrgasms 01/26/2015 at 16:18

0

Haha :P

If you're serious about being vegan, Indian and Asian food has a lot of veg options and is delicious :)

I grew up in India as a vegetarian....don't worry though, I eat meat now.

Can't say no to bacon :D

MultiplaOrgasms > Tapas 01/26/2015 at 16:26

0

As we all know bacon is the only known cure to vegetarianism.

Tapas > MultiplaOrgasms 01/26/2015 at 16:26

0

Haha, there are a quite a lot of other meats that cure vegetarianism as well :D

MultiplaOrgasms > Tapas 01/26/2015 at 16:29

1

Manic Otti > TheHondaBro 01/26/2015 at 16:53

0

Is that a Reuben? Where's the other half? But Dill Rye FTW!

TheHondaBro > Manic Otti 01/26/2015 at 17:05

0

I don't know, I Google image searched sandwich.

Manic Otti > TheHondaBro 01/26/2015 at 17:13

0

Lol, so you didn't even eat the sandwich? I'm beginning to doubt the credibility of your reviews.

TheHondaBro > Manic Otti 01/26/2015 at 17:19

0

I'm trying to tell you the sandwich took control over me! It wrote the review! It's got some voodoo mustard shit going on.

Manic Otti > TheHondaBro 01/26/2015 at 18:00

0

Voodoo Mustard! Now *THAT* sounds awesome!

gergey - Wishes vette was Datsun > TheHondaBro 01/27/2015 at 00:45

0

MSRP: $2.50 at Walmart, or something like that.

You're telling me walmart sells things like this?!